Srilankan Tamil

”So we took turns using the toilet and the sink and the shower. Bec didn’t seem too keen on being under the shower at the same time as me so it took twice as long but I didn’t complain.I was sitting there waiting while she showered when something occurred to me.I looked over at Bec and I said, “You’ve never made a nasty comment about the way I look. You’ve never made fun of me for needing someone with me in the bathroom.”Bec looked over at me but she didn’t say anything.So I said, “It was like I kept waiting for it to happen and I got nervous when it didn’t because maybe you were saving it up to get me good. But it never happened so it was like a suspense movie where you know something is going to happen and you keep waiting and waiting and then just when you’ve decided maybe you were wrong and it won’t happen after all, it happens all of a sudden and everyone screams. I was waiting for you to make comments about how I looked and you never did. It took me ages to figure out that you. I hadn’t told her that I was having my period, but she seemed to know.Probably the scowl on my face. Normally, I like to have a sweet and innocent expressions on my face, looking like a cute girl. But today ... Today I felt like ripping off the head of everyone who looked at me.I stewed as we moved through the line, feeling so swollen. I looked down at my flat stomach, my pink blouse tucked into my white skirt. It fell down to my knees, my legs covered by pink tights. I rubbed my belly. I felt like it should be sticking out. I felt so fat and ugly right now. I just wanted it to be over.I wanted to be pregnant fat. That cute and sexy way. Lee was looking so sexy as her belly grew rounder and rounder with my big brother’s baby. I just wanted it so badly. It wasn’t fair. Tears beaded in the corners of my eyes. I suddenly felt like I was worthless. Just so pathetic. My brother could breed every other woman on the planet.Just not me.We sat down at a table and I stirred around my curry.
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